Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Georgia (678)

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.

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  (678): His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum. http://tfl.nu/fdrn
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  My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU

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  (678): My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU http://tfl.nu/86bi
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  All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You mean bread?

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  (678): All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast? (404): You mean bread? http://tfl.nu/69zn
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  He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.

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  (678): He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went. http://tfl.nu/x6dz
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  Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners

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  (678): Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners http://tfl.nu/idvh
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  so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.

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  (678): so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style. http://tfl.nu/ovwm
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  Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.

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  (678): Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth. http://tfl.nu/v0e6
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  No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works

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  (678): No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works http://tfl.nu/wwwu
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  What are you wearing to our high school reunion?

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  I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"

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  (404): What are you wearing to our high school reunion? (678): I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?" http://tfl.nu/1heq
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  Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.

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  (678): Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again. http://tfl.nu/wpgt
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  I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.

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  (678): I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI. http://tfl.nu/g9z6
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  i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not

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  (678): i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not http://tfl.nu/4hxe
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  I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.

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  (678): I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/yvkg
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  If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.

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  (678): If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now. http://tfl.nu/xrc8
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  I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars

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  (678): I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars http://tfl.nu/s2oj
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