Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (314)

Last Night in Missouri (314)

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(314): View more from Missouri

i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.

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(314): i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out. http://tfl.nu/pdqf

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I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.

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(314): I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old. http://tfl.nu/6ya9

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totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.

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(314): totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came. http://tfl.nu/dglx

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You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.

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(314): You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning. http://tfl.nu/b7qj

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He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?

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No. Take one for the team.

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(314): He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed? (1-314): No. Take one for the team. http://tfl.nu/qngb

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I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.

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(314): I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line. http://tfl.nu/auex

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Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..

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(314): Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is.. http://tfl.nu/5jba

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My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.

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(314): My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work. http://tfl.nu/pjpr

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I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?

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(314): I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university? http://tfl.nu/laww

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What happened to the watermelon?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

You fucked it.

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(314): What happened to the watermelon? (1-314): You fucked it. http://tfl.nu/unba

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In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.

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(314): In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night. http://tfl.nu/og0b

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doooooooo herrrrrrrrr

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I'm out of practice. be my yoda

(314): View more from Missouri

put your penis in her you must.

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(314): doooooooo herrrrrrrrr (504): I'm out of practice. be my yoda (314): put your penis in her you must. http://tfl.nu/is5z

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just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"

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(314): just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?" http://tfl.nu/lhkq

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I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.

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(314): I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window. http://tfl.nu/p01d

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handjob tips. give me some.

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(314): handjob tips. give me some. http://tfl.nu/g4uz

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Last Night in Missouri (314)

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